


christmas kisses

by tkreyesevandiaz



Series: a christmas miracle [2]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Christopher Diaz is a National Treasure, Each chapter is rated different, Firehouse 118 Family (9-1-1), Gen, M/M, Married Life, Slice of Life, Tags before each chapter, bonus chapters, domestic life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:15:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23941408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tkreyesevandiaz/pseuds/tkreyesevandiaz
Summary: Married life suits Evan and Eddie Buckley-Diaz in a multitude of ways.A collection of bonus chapters froma christmas miracleEach chapter is a stand-alone, with their own ratings and tags that will be in the notes beforehand. That is why it will stay marked 'incomplete'even though this is technically complete.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Series: a christmas miracle [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1725769
Comments: 67
Kudos: 299





	1. with all that i am (i honor you)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Welcome to the bonus chapters for this fic!!
> 
> Each of them is another standalone slice of life, that may not necessarily be in any chronological order (which is why this fic will always stay marked 'incomplete').
> 
> However, you do have to have read 'a christmas miracle' in order to understand the references made in these chapters!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This first chapter is a bonus for the wedding night scene in Chapter 3, and it is dedicated to @Coconut7up for their amazing comments and excitement over the parent fic, and to @ariquitecontrary for beta'ing this <3.
> 
> Rating: Explicit  
> Tags: Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, Making Love, Fluff and Smut, No Archive Warnings Apply

“We can call them tomorrow. Tonight though…” Eddie let himself trail off, Buck’s posture automatically tensing in anticipation. “I want you to myself tonight.”

“You have me,” he said softly. Eddie smiled over at him and linked their hands.

The shift in energy was palpable, going from a simmer to red-hot flame near immediately. Want, desire and need clung to them as Buck pushed the vehicle to go a little faster, anxious to just get home already. There was something special about having their first time be as a married couple, and he wasn’t about to spend the entire night just _driving_.

By Eddie’s soft chuckle, Buck assumed that he must’ve been thinking on the same lines.

Eddie watched him ardently as the two entered the now-quiet house, a stark contrast to the hustle and bustle of Abuela’s. Buck set the car keys down with a soft _plink_ on the mantle, the sound echoing in the silence.

There was something special about the intent with which they came back home, too.

They reached for each other at the same time, drawing the other impossibly closer until it felt like they were ready to crawl into each other’s skin. Buck could feel every hard line of Eddie’s body against his, ready to tear whatever barrier remained between them. He flicked his eyes downwards towards Eddie’s lips and back up again, content to roam his gaze over the planes of his husband’s face. 

This was something he never thought he’d be allowed to do.

Anticipation stretched taut between them. A pulsing need settled beneath his skin, pushing Buck to _take._

He captured Eddie’s lips with his own as they moved further into the house, a mess of limbs and energy, gravitating to one another like a moth to flame. Eddie managed to get them twisted around enough to direct Buck to the bedroom, keeping them connected the whole while.

Eddie flicked on a lamp, casting a dim glow through the sparse room. Silently, he padded to where Buck was patiently waiting, fingers coming to slowly slip each button free. It was torturous, to have him so close and yet not be touching him.

Putting himself out of his misery, he reached out to slip his hands beneath Eddie’s shirt, blindly exploring the warm skin just as Eddie did to him. His skin pebbled wherever Buck’s calloused fingertips dragged along the golden grooves and planes, pausing to flick at a nipple. Eddie groaned softly, a sound Buck wanted to taste. Heat pooled low in his core with the drag of Eddie’s nails scraping lightly along his muscles, his cock slowly filling in his jeans.

That’s what tonight was about. It was about freeing another side to their relationship, exploring one another in more than just physical ways.

Eddie finally stripped Buck of his shirt and Buck took the opportunity to pull Eddie’s Henley off. Dragging Eddie close with one arm hooked around his waist, Buck ghosted his lips along his collarbone, coaxing a moan from the other man as he nipped and suckled at the thin skin. His hips began moving in slow circles along Eddie’s, the friction delicious and hot between them. Eddie felt just as hard as he was. 

As they moved to the bed, the frantic need for each other mellowed out, shifting into a primal need to study every nook and cranny of the other man. Eddie crawled on top of him, his hazel eyes nearly black with desire. Their bodies fit together perfectly, like two puzzle pieces snapping into place. Buck’s body formed a cradle for Eddie’s frame that aligned the two men faultlessly, enough that Eddie could rock against him.

He was more than happy to let Eddie set the pace, a slow, languid exploration of his mouth. His husband took him apart piece by piece as they moved together, making him feel more vulnerable that he had been in ages. Eddie’s stubble scratched sweetly along Buck’s skin, adding a heightened layer of sensitivity.

“Eddie,” Buck whispered, guiding Eddie out from where he’d moved upwards to ghost his lips along Buck’s jaw. His husband pulled back to look him in the eye, his gaze burning so brightly with love that it made Buck’s heart swell. He was almost afraid to break the bubble of peace that had surrounded them.

With another lump lodged in his throat, he flipped the two of them over so now he was on top, the impressive bulge in Eddie's jean's digging into his thigh.

Starting at his temple, Buck pressed little kisses along the skin, teasing his husband with flashes of teeth and swipes of his tongue.

“With all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you,” Buck whispered into the sensitive skin at the hollow of Eddie’s throat, pressing another kiss where his wedding vows had just been. He smiled at the goose flesh on the golden canvas of his husband’s body, blowing cool air where his mouth had dampened the skin.

“With all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you,” Eddie repeated the words, his fingers tracing whatever part of Buck’s body he could reach as he branded the words into his skin.

Like this, they continued marking each other with the reverent words. Against the curve of Eddie’s neck, along the tattoo on Buck’s chest. Against the side of Eddie’s waist, woven into Buck’s hair. Another whisper along the cut of Eddie’s hip, another press of the words into Buck’s shoulder.

When he moved back to _finally_ kiss his husband, both of their eyes were glassy. Buck felt like the luckiest man in the universe, barely feeling like his feet were still on the ground.

“I love you so much, sweetheart,” Eddie croaked quietly, voice low and thick with a heady blend of reverence and captivation, cupping the back of his neck to drag him into a long, worshiping kiss. Nobody had ever looked at him like he was that precious before; he had always been the means to a very pleasurable end, but here, in this moment, he knew that Eddie would never see him in that way. 

Buck let himself be pressed into the mattress again, only for Eddie to whisper against his cheek. “With all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you.” 

“You don’t know how many times I’ve had to stop myself from touching you,” Buck spoke softly, moving a hand into Eddie’s hair. The thick, silky strands slipped between his fingers as he moved his thumb in circles along his temple as he gazed up at his husband. “So many times I was afraid that I’d touch you once and everything I felt for you would be burned into my skin. That you’d know and...you wouldn’t feel the same way.”

Eddie closed his eyes as he linked their left hands, ducking his head to kiss Buck again. The tenderness of the action tore him apart. He pulled back to make eye contact with him, warm, molten eyes naked with emotion. “I’d have regretted it for the rest of my life if I pushed you away. I need you to know...that if there ever was a choice, I would always, _always_ choose you.”

Buck smiled at the reminder of Eddie’s vows as he coaxed his husband’s weight back onto him, surrounding him with love and safety. He couldn’t stop his hands from ghosting along the sides of Eddie’s warm and pliant body above him, along each bump and groove of his spine, of the two indents in the dip of his waist, right above that ass that had tormented Buck more than he cared to think about at the moment.

Eddie seemed to be moving with the same slow fervour, exploring the expanse of Buck’s body with just as much adoration. He was propped up on one forearm but the other kept dragging rough, strong fingers along his skin, another expression of Eddie's love for him. It brought another wave of tears to his eyes at the feeling of being so treasured.

Eddie trailed his lips down Buck’s neck and throat, sucking lightly at his pulse point before moving to take his nipple into his mouth. Buck arched up from the surprise of it, his grip on Eddie’s hips tightening as he involuntarily grinded on his husband’s thigh. He needed Eddie’s hand on him _yesterday_.

Eddie suckled, nipped and teased the skin over and over again, leaving love bites periodically in all the spots where they’d be hidden.

“I knew you’d be into marking,” Buck laughed breathlessly just as Eddie sucked another mark on his torso. “Fuck, Eddie…”

“You’re mine,” Eddie whispered possessively over the reddened flesh, sending another wave of chills down his spine. Buck smiled and brought him up to kiss him deeply, wrapping his arms around his husband. 

“Always,” he said against Eddie’s mouth. “Now get these off.”

Eddie stood up to unfasten his jeans but Buck stopped him, sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. He spread them to pull Eddie in between, wanting them as close as they could be. At this height, he could lean in to kiss his torso.

“Let me.” Buck looked up at Eddie who was smiling down at him. He cupped his jaw to bring their mouths together in another slow kiss as Buck’s fingers worked the button of Eddie’s jeans, one hand slipping past the waistband of his briefs to tease the neatly trimmed coarse hair springing up at him.

The scraping sound of the zipper brought them apart, but not too far. Eddie brushed a thumb under his eye as he looked at Buck. “How do you want to do this tonight?” Buck already knew that he wanted Eddie inside him, where no one else had been, not even himself.

“Have you ever done this before?” he asked, just to be sure. Eddie shook his head in answer. Buck squeezed his hand, running his thumb in lazy circles on Eddie’s skin, right above the waistband.

“I want you,” he said simply. His husband’s eyes flared as he leaned over to get lube out of the bedside table.

Eddie swore softly under his breath as he rifled through the various trinkets. “I don’t have any condoms left.”

“I’m clean. Haven’t been with anyone since the last time I was tested.”

“Are you sure? I haven’t been with anyone since Shannon, and I’ve been tested multiple times after that for routine so I know I’m clean.”

“Yeah,” Buck whispered, pulling Eddie close. “Stop fretting.”

Within ten seconds, both of their pants were stripped and discarded, leaving them completely bare, save for the bands of metal decorating their fingers. Buck let Eddie drink his fill of his body as he scanned Eddie’s.

Eddie was big, there was no denying that. Almost instinctively, Buck closed a loose fist around his dick, moving up and down in long, slow strokes that had Eddie throwing his head back to moan. He craned his neck upwards to kiss the column of Eddie’s throat, loving the sexy sounds falling from his mouth.

They took advantage of the house being empty to make as much noise as possible. Buck made it a personal mission to get the other man to make as many of those pleasurable noises as he could tonight, little sounds he could taste on his tongue as he used his other hand to pull Eddie back towards him into another long kiss.

Buck's responding groan was swallowed immediately by Eddie’s tongue as his husband’s hand closed around his length. The coolness of his wedding ring against the heated, sensitive skin added another jolt of erotic pleasure to him, a blissful dichotomy. 

Buck broke the kiss to trail little bites and kisses down Eddie’s body, worshiping every inch of the beautiful man standing in front of him.

When he reached his cock, he only flicked a quick look up to meet Eddie’s surprised gaze before he was closing his lips around the tip.

“Fuck, Evan!” Eddie growled, his hips thrusting forward with the unexpectedness of it all. Buck hollowed his cheeks as he moved up and down his husband’s dick, flicking his tongue against the tip, flushed with the strength of his arousal. The salty musk of Eddie settled onto his tongue, a welcome taste. 

He had no idea what he was doing, but with the groans and mewls coming from Eddie, he must have been doing something right. He’d never actually given someone a blowjob before. 

It wasn’t often that Buck had fallen in bed with men, but with those that he did, he’d never felt the urge to do this to. And he’d never let anyone to his most private spot, either. He always topped.

Tonight was different. Everything about the man he was currently pleasuring was different. 

One hand carded itself in his hair, tugging lightly while the other tightened on Buck’s own cock. He moaned with the pleasure of it all, leading to Eddie pulling Buck off with the strength of those vibrations.

Eddie pushed him back onto the bed, undeterred by the taste of himself on Buck’s lips as he kissed him. Buck let his knees drop to the side, grabbing a pillow to prop his hips up. Eddie kneeled next to him, unsurely looking at the bottle of lube in his hand.

“You’re probably going to have to guide me,” he admitted. “The internet only gets you so far.”

Buck’s eyes shot up so fast. “You researched this?”

For the first time tonight, he saw a blush crawl on Eddie’s face as he chewed his lip nervously. Buck only smiled, cupping his husband’s face to press a small kiss to his nose. “Adorable.”

If possible, he only flushed deeper at the innocent action. Buck filed it away as a secret love for pet names and a likely praise kink, and a definite reciprocity to affectionate kisses. He tugged Eddie’s hand up to his mouth, slipping two fingers in.

Buck kept his eyes locked on Eddie’s as he swirled his tongue around the two digits, much like he’d just done around his length. His expression was heated with lust as he watched Buck’s lips close around his fingers. 

Letting go of them with a pop, Buck guided them down to his hole, directing Eddie to move the slick fingers around the tight muscle. 

Eddie caught on immediately, simply moving his fingers in small circles to loosen the muscle. As he did so, he ghosted kisses along Buck’s stomach, focusing his attention on the lines of the abstract face tattooed on the left side of his torso. The callouses on the tips of Eddie’s well-worked hands added a delicious friction that quivered in Buck’s core.

“Ready?” he murmured. Buck thought that he’d fall apart if Eddie didn’t do _something_ soon.

“ _Yes_. Just go slow.” The flick of the cap added another layer of anticipation to this slow lovemaking. There was intense pressure at his hole before Eddie’s slick finger slid in, moving agonizingly slow. It didn’t hurt, but it was a dark pleasure, erotic in the devotion Eddie was paying him, making sure that no flashes of pain crossed Buck’s face.

It was a type of pleasure he hadn’t felt before. Buck threw his head back as Eddie’s finger grazed a spot inside of him, nearly slamming it into the rungs where the headboard should’ve been. Now he saw what the big deal was.

“Right-right there.” Eddie dragged his finger along his inner walls until he found it again, making Buck arch up at the electricity coursing through him. He could feel his muscles tense with the force of the toe-curling sensation, eyes slipping closed with the strength of it.

“Feel good?” he asked, keeping on hand on Buck’s hip to press feather-light kisses to his cock, kitten kisses that made Buck feel like he'd stuck his fingers into a socket. In response, Buck only groaned with the intense pleasure, pushing his hips down to seek more. Eddie pulled his finger back to push two in, slowly scissoring them to open him up. “You’re so tight around me, babe.”

“Haven’t done this before,” Buck managed to gasp through the insistent drag of Eddie’s fingers against his sweet spot. Instantly, they stilled.

Buck whined at the loss of friction but opened his eyes to look at his husband, who was staring at him, looking mildly panicked. “Wait, Buck, I-”

“Hey, hey no.” Buck moved to stop him from withdrawing, gently dislodging Eddie’s fingers from him to sit up and cup his husband’s face. “I want you, Eddie. This feels right.”

“Are you sure?” The question was quiet, full of an unnamed insecurity. “I haven’t done this before, maybe you should top tonight. I want it to be good for both of us, especially on our wedding night.”

Buck didn’t completely understand where this was coming from, but he knew words weren’t going to ease him at all. He picked up Eddie’s hand again and boldly brought it to his leaking dick. 

“I haven’t been this wet since I was a teenager,” he said frankly, huffing a laugh. “You’re not doing anything wrong. If anything, you’re doing everything a little _too_ right. I’m absolutely sure, sweetheart.”

Eddie looked at Buck like he hung the moon himself as he leaned in to kiss him again, lowering him back onto the mattress. He fit himself into the space between Buck’s legs, lazily licking into his mouth as his fingers searched and pressed into Buck’s entrance. 

The ring of muscle was relaxed enough to take a third finger, and Eddie kept moving at a languid, slow pace, finger-fucking him slowly as his lips feathered words of love and presses of kisses around Buck’s body. 

“If you don’t get inside me now, this party is going to be over,” Buck said, clenching down on Eddie’s fingers once as his thighs trembled with the sheer pleasure. His husband laughed but pulled his fingers out slowly, slicked up his cock, and lined himself up.

Eddie Buckley-Diaz was magnificent on a normal day but like this? He was ethereal. 

In the soft glow of the room, the thick strands flopped lazily over his forehead as he leaned over Buck. The bronze skin stretched tight over muscle and bone gleamed with a faint layer of sweat, calling for Buck to drift his fingers on, tracing every little freckle and scar that he could see as he memorized the map of Eddie’s body. The light dusting of hair on his body brushed against him as Eddie started to enter him, tickling his hypersensitive skin.

Buck keened as the head of Eddie’s cock slipped into him, past the well-stretched muscle. There was only the erotic stretch and a pressing fullness to him. He kept a steady pace as he pushed into Buck’s body until Buck could feel Eddie’s hips against his ass.

Eddie stayed like that, letting Buck adjust to his size as he peppered more kisses against his collarbone, panting the whole while as he murmured more praise against his skin. Buck swallowed the lump in his throat and tapped his flank to get Eddie to move, not wanting words to ruin this blissful bubble between them.

Slowly but surely, Eddie began to move his hips, dragging his cock back and forth in a sinfully deliberate rhythm. He could feel every inch of Eddie from where they were intimately joined, and the flex of his muscles and roll of his hips as he moved inside Buck made his mouth water.

Tangling his fingers into the hair at the back of Eddie’s neck, Buck pulled him up for a kiss, panting with the pleasure coursing through him. He could feel the skim of Eddie’s abdomen on the underside of his own cock as his husband moved, which lay between them.

“Taking me so well,” Eddie whispered against the corner of Buck’s mouth, shifting to hold his weight on his forearms so he could speed up just the tiniest bit. “I love you, so so much.”

“I love you too,” Buck replied in turn, the words on his lips like a prayer. “My husband,” he said softly, punctuating each word with another soft kiss. He trailed his fingers along Eddie’s face, skimming the beads of sweat that were now dotting his forehead. 

The heady scent of sex only grew more potent. Eddie managed to angle himself so the head of his cock brushed Buck’s sweet spot with every stroke, still moving at a moderate pace. Buck’s nails tracked light lines down Eddie’s back as the pleasure overwhelmed him.

As they approached their peaks, Eddie tangled his fingers with Buck’s before dropping his head down into his neck. 

One last pointed thrust against his prostate and Buck was spilling all over his abdomen, crying out Eddie’s name from the strength of his orgasm. He was surprised, because he’d just come virtually untouched between them.

“Buck, I’m going to-” Eddie tried to warn him, but Buck only nodded, moving his hands to grip Eddie’s perfect ass, urging him to thrust back inside so they were as close as possible. 

The dig of Buck’s nails into delicate skin tipped Eddie over the edge as his husband growled his name into his ear, biting down lightly. The warmth of Eddie’s release filled him, which was something Buck didn't think through. It was weird; not uncomfortable, but just new. Though Buck was sure he’d regret it once it started to dry.

“Best sex of my life,” Buck sighed happily, chuckling at the blissed-out look on Eddie’s face. He tugged his hair lightly to steal another soft kiss, still not able to get enough of him.

“Same. You are perfect,” Eddie said, a little breathlessly as he kissed Buck’s forehead, gently pulling out. Buck couldn’t help but wince with hypersensitivity. His husband left a few more soothing kisses on his skin before retreating to the washroom to start a shower and get them both cleaned up.

Buck lay there quietly, basking in the afterglow of their lovemaking. They’d moved together as one, stripped of everything but their wedding rings, and now Buck finally understood what _making love_ meant. 

This...this was vulnerable in a way they hadn’t ever allowed themselves to be, intimate in a way that he hadn’t imagined sex to be. They just...fit together, so in tune with one another.

This was what the joining of two souls felt like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda suck at smut so I'm sorry if this isn't all that great! Thank you for reading!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed! If you have any ideas, feel free to comment them down below!! <3
> 
> Kudos and Comments make my day, so thank you to everyone who leaves them!
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at [zeethebooknerd](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/zeethebooknerd) or on Twitter at [tkreyesevandiaz](https://twitter.com/tkreyesevandiaz). You can also buy me a coffee at my [Ko-Fi!](https://ko-fi.com/tkreyesevandiaz)


	2. promise?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! 
> 
> I know it's been a while xD I'm sorry. This part has been written for months, but I really wasn't ready to post it. But...here it is!
> 
> This is set a few months after the wedding, and is a little healthy communication piece xD I love the idea of them communicating :')
> 
> Rating: Teen and Up  
> Tags: Healthy Communication, Love Languages, Promises, Implied Sexual Content

Having a shotgun wedding was the best decision they’d ever made, in Buck’s humble opinion.

After years of trying to find a place where he belonged, he’d managed to find it unconsciously at his best friend’s side. And the bonus? A super adorable kid to top it off.

Life was perfect.

It was the sort of thing people read about in _novels_ and cheesy romantic-comedy movies, things that weren't really seen in real life. The type of wish people prayed on coins and falling stars for, thousands of similar romantic hopes littering the bottom of fountains and the night skies in hopes it'd come true.

Buck supposed he really was fortunate enough to have found that, without truly looking. 

He was happier than ever, learning about Eddie and Christopher in new capacities. Buck and Eddie’s relationship had only gotten stronger, their communication more instinctual. They worked seamlessly at work, though there had been a few scares along the way, a few bumps in realizing just how much they had to lose now. 

The adjustment period itself had brought a few hiccups to the Buckley-Diaz family but nothing they couldn’t work their way through.

Now that they were three months into their marriage, Buck thought that perhaps the honeymoon phase would’ve given way to them settling into their new roles, the novelty and newness of being just married - and in their case, just together - wearing off a little. 

On the contrary, their penchant for showing one another love hadn’t weaned off at all; if anything, it’d gotten stronger. It was an indulgence Buck and Eddie afforded themselves in the four walls of their home, no matter how openly affectionate they were with Christopher in public.

But even as things settled, there was still something that wasn’t quite right, something Buck couldn’t put his finger on. It took him a bit to understand it fully, but once he did, his heart had clenched painfully in his chest.

Buck watched his husband a little more carefully once the realization struck. 

Eddie’s touch had grown desperate, more akin to physically show affection in front of an audience, sometimes even at work. Not in an over-possessive way, but as a way to press a plea into his skin. 

Buck couldn’t say he minded when Eddie touched him, because his husband wasn’t a tactile person to begin with. With him, he felt safe enough to initiate that contact, and that privilege wasn’t something Buck would ever take for granted.

But at the same token, he knew that Eddie didn't like to show touch to the point that he'd been doing lately. The man preferred his privacy above all, and he couldn’t wrap his head around _why_ Eddie went out of his way to make sure he was showering Buck in physical affection. 

He’d brought it up to Frank during his last therapy session, wondering if there was something that he wasn’t seeing, or if he was overreacting. Frank told him that it was common for couples to overlook changed behaviour as just a product of them getting married, but that he should trust his instincts. 

Buck _knew_ Eddie. He prided himself on being a person Eddie let himself be vulnerable with and he knew Eddie did the exact same thing. Still, he wasn’t a mind reader and just like Frank had advised, there was no use trying to fill in the blanks without talking to him. He didn’t want to draw any conclusions without understanding his partner's side of the story. 

Nevertheless, that didn’t stop the jagged forks of fear wiggling their way into his chest.

It was one lazy morning that Buck brought it up, two weeks after his talk with Frank. Eddie had come back from dropping Chris off at school and instantly crawled back into bed with him, leaving a heap of his clothes at the door itself.

Buck gave himself a few minutes to gather the courage to ask his husband about it.

“Hey Eddie, can I ask you something?” Buck whispered. 

It was rare that they got some time to spend with just each other, and Buck didn’t want to take away from that, but he knew it was important for them to talk about this. Without a kid in the house, they’d be able to talk freely.

Eddie hummed and turned in his grip until his chin was digging into Buck’s chest, giving him his full attention.

“Why-why are you...why do you go out of your way to be physically affectionate?” He stumbled over the words, but finally managed to get them out there. Eddie was clearly taken aback by the question because he drew himself up, looking at Buck with an unreadable expression.

“Do you not like it?” Buck could sense Eddie pulling away from the conversation already in a blind panic, so he sat up and took Eddie’s left hand in his own, squeezing tightly to urge his husband to pay attention. 

He was more than familiar with the way Eddie approached emotions; as soon as he felt backed into a corner, he shut down and blindly lashed out to keep from suffocating under the weight of what he thought were accusations. 

They’d both been doing better at trying to communicate in a healthy manner, so Buck didn’t let him look away, absolutely refusing to let their progress diminish.

“No, Eddie, listen to me. It’s not that. But…” He licked his lips, wracking his brain for the right words. “It isn’t like you, Eds. I _love_ that you go out of your way to make me feel loved, and I _do_. I’m not mad at you or anything, but lately, it feels less like you’re saying ‘I love you’ and more like you’re trying to _prove_ something to me.”

Eddie stayed silent, absentmindedly running his thumb along Buck’s ring. The caught-off-guard look had faded from his expression, thankfully enough. Now, he seemed to be genuinely considering the question. “I guess...I’m trying to make up for all the time I wasted not loving you like you deserved to be loved.”

There was definitely more to this explanation but Buck prodded him gently. “Why do you think I’m not being loved like I deserve to be? I get to come home to the best husband and kid in the world. I get to come back to _you_. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“Shannon started pulling away from our marriage because I wasn’t...I didn’t show her I loved her enough,” Eddie confessed, dropping his gaze down. Buck’s heart hurt for his husband. There was a weird sense of misplaced anger at her, too - even though he felt guilty of thinking it of a dead person. “There were a lot of other things too, but we had been pulling away before Christopher was even born because of that. Like...I’ve never been one for huge gestures, and her friends’ significant others _would_ be and it was constantly a point of contention. Then the Army happened, and Christopher’s diagnosis, and things slipped out of control. I’m just scared that...”

That it would happen to them.

There was a wave of relief that crashed through him at the realization that Eddie wasn’t regretting marrying him, and for a quick second, Buck let himself relax to that before turning his attention back to his husband, who was staring holes into his fingers.

He thought about it for a minute, wanting to say the right thing. 

Pretty words rarely said anything relevant about what a person truly felt, and Buck knew that very well. Just because Eddie didn’t propose in front of a crowd or they didn’t have this public announcement of their marriage or whatever did not mean, under _any_ circumstances, that he didn’t love him. 

Hell, he’d used his words pretty well when they were at Abuela’s.

“Eddie, look at me.” When he did - albeit very reluctantly - Buck cupped his face with one hand to make sure he couldn’t look away before continuing. “The Eddie I know has always been a private person. He hated putting his business out there for the rest of the world to see, and marriage shouldn’t change that for him. Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not telling you what to do or what not to. I just don’t want you to turn into someone you’re not, because you think I need something, or because other couples are doing something. Your love language doesn’t need to change for me.”

It made his heart both swell and ache that Eddie was making himself uncomfortable to make sure Buck knew he loved him. 

Eddie’s brow crinkled a little. “Love language?”

“Yeah. Like...the ways you express affection and love to your partner,” Buck explained, loosely linking their fingers together. “Gary Chapman came up with them. Words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch, gift-receiving and quality time. There's a lot of criticism and the whole paradigm is probably outdated but there were a few good points he brought up. My point right now focuses on the physical touch one. It doesn’t mean we’d be all over each other all the time, but remember how we used to be before getting married? Just a few grounding touches, but they were enough, Eds.”

His husband was staring at him with bloodshot eyes, mouth open in disbelief. Buck pressed on, needing him to understand this.

“I just need _you_. I promise I feel loved in spades. Hell, I felt it even when we weren’t together. Just because you realized it later doesn’t mean you don’t love me as much as I love you. You don’t have anything to prove. And you _never_ will. Not with me.” Eddie’s eyes were slightly glassy, and all Buck wanted to do was draw him into a hug, but he wanted to be able to see his face for this. 

“No?”

Buck shook his head. “You can’t put a price on a marriage, and I’m sorry Shannon made you feel like that. But we walked into this with our eyes wide open, sweetheart. I know how you express your love, and I know _you_.” He paused before adding, “and you know me too.”

“So you want me to go back to less affectionate Eddie? You won’t be mad?” he whispered, his hand now covering Buck’s on his face. The fractured look in his husband’s eye made Buck’s heart hurt even more. “I just don’t want you to regret marrying me.”

“You can be whoever you want, as long as you’re being yourself. It just didn’t seem like you to be so…” He racked his mind for the right word. “...prone...I guess, to such obvious public displays of affection. We’ve always been one of those pairs where people can just _tell_ , even if we’re not in the same general vicinity. Doesn’t that tell you something?”

Eddie nodded slowly. Buck plowed on, keeping the most earnest look on his face that he could. “I could _never_ regret marrying you, Eddie. You and Christopher have made me the happiest I’ve ever been.”

“I’m sorry,” his husband apologized quietly, tilting his forehead against Buck’s. The constriction in his chest that had been tightening ever over the span of two weeks eased, leaving him feeling lighter.

“There’s no need to be. I love you, Eddie. I’m not going anywhere.” That was the root of his husband’s fear, he realized as he said the words. He thought Buck would leave because Eddie wasn't doing enough. “You will always be my best friend before my life partner, and in any capacity I get to have you, you will always be enough.”

“Promise?” Eddie whispered, unnervingly vulnerable. Buck smiled at him, tilting his head to press a soft kiss to his lips.

“Promise.” 

“Thank you,” he said softly, pulling him closer with a grateful smile. It was intimate and cozy, two things they were severely lacking from the chaos of the last three months. So Buck maneuvered them back into bed, curling into Eddie’s side and throwing the covers over them.

He started tracing patterns on his husband’s chest, feeling Eddie’s ring press into the skin of his shoulder. It was one of Buck’s favourite things ever, seeing his husband’s hand with the wedding ring on his skin. 

“Acts of service and spending quality time were my primary ones, I think. It was the only way I knew how to show romantic love, because that's all I'd seen,” Eddie said quietly, after a while. Buck had already sensed his mind whirring in overdrive, but trusted him to speak when he was ready. “With you, physical touch is another. I was never this tactile with Shannon.”

“Hmm...you use your words sometimes too,” Buck pointed out. “It’s a fickle thing, the whole love language paradigm. Because...can I use the example you mentioned about Shannon?”

“Yeah.”

“You said that Shannon thought you didn’t love her enough, even though you _did_. And you showed that through providing, which is a _huge_ act of service. Probably gave her gifts and all that too? But if her primary love language was through words of affirmation, she might’ve thought that it wasn’t enough. And I don't mean sweet nothings; things like compliments, praise are what words of affirmation mean. A lot of couples find themselves in a place where they don’t understand the other person’s love language.”

“What’s yours? Like...your primary one?”

Buck was taken aback by the question, because he hadn’t really thought about how _he_ would receive love as much as he thought about how he would give it. “Um...Words of affirmation are how I usually show it. Physical touch is a big one for me, but it has to be a safe touch, like yours.”

“And...you’re-I’m...am I showing you that?” 

Buck looked up at Eddie, to find him already staring down at him. There was blatant curiosity in those honey-browns but Buck could see the doubt lingering. “If the question is if you’re showing me that you love me, then yeah, you definitely are. Like I said, you’re my best friend before anything else. I'm not going to turn you into someone other than the man I married, and I know you wouldn't do that to me either.”

“I don’t know how I got so lucky with you,” Eddie whispered softly, leaning down to kiss his forehead. “I love you.”

Buck flushed under the attention, hiding his smile in Eddie’s skin. “Think I’m the one that lucked out.” He murmured before pushing up to hover over his now-grinning husband. There was a lightness to his warm eyes that made Buck preen under his gaze. The whole time, he internally marveled over how easy it was to communicate with each other, when a year ago, it was akin to pulling teeth. Frank would get a kick out of that one.

Realizing that they’d just been staring at each other, Buck beamed wolfishly at him, winking. “Wanna take advantage of an empty house?”

Eddie barked out a laugh but pulled Buck’s weight back onto him, already scraping his stubble deliciously along the sensitive curve of his neck.

This time, when they made love, Buck made sure to press all those affirmations into Eddie, sealing his promise to his husband. 

“I love you. And I’ll never leave you if I can help it, I promise,” Eddie whispered, cradling the back of his head for a deep kiss. It was a dangerous promise, given their jobs, but Buck had full faith that Eddie would always come back to him and Christopher, given the chance.

“You are _more_ than enough for me, Eddie,” he said in turn, trailing open-mouthed pleasure down his husband’s body. “And I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone else.”

The surge of contentment that punched through him made Buck want to squeal a little with the amount of joy and as they fell over the edge together, all he could think about was how fortunate he was for all this.

As him and Eddie cuddled back together after cleaning up, his husband carded strong fingers through his hair, holding him protectively. Buck melted into his grip, the haze of sleep looming over them near immediately.

“Promise to talk to me next time you feel like that?” Buck prodded quietly. Eddie’s arm tightened around him reassuringly.

“Promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was it? 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this <3 If you have any ideas, feel free to comment them down below!! <3 xD It might take me a bit but I promise I'll try to get to them ASAP.
> 
> Kudos and Comments make my day, so thank you to everyone who leaves them!
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at [zeethebooknerd](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/zeethebooknerd) or on Twitter at [tkreyesevandiaz](https://twitter.com/tkreyesevandiaz). You can also buy me a coffee at my [Ko-Fi!](https://ko-fi.com/tkreyesevandiaz)


	3. together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> I'm back with a super long chapter! :D This one is pretty angsty, so please heed the warnings! Thank you so much to Kat for looking over the first part of the chapter for me and for encouraging this series <3
> 
> Rating: Mature  
> Tags: Implied Homophobia, Bad Parents, Arguments, Angst, Crying, Christopher Diaz is a National Treasure, Language
> 
>  **TW:** Implied Homophobia, Arguments with Parents, Strong Language

Eddie was dreading having to do this. 

He ran a finger along the top of his phone, wondering if it was even worth it to shatter their post-married bliss not even a full 24 hours after the fact. Nothing good was going to come of this, and he could already hear the argument playing out in his mind.

It wasn’t that he didn’t love his parents, or that his parents didn’t love him. There were just so many differences between them, and their constant disapproval of anything Eddie did for Christopher didn’t make things easy. It didn’t help that as the months went by, they asked less about him, and more about their grandson - almost as if there was no point trying to salvage their relationship.

There was something to be said about the burn that lashed through him when his parents bypassed him to talk to Chris; it wasn’t something that he was proud of, but that jealousy was there. Somewhere, Eddie was still that little boy who tugged on his mother’s apron or followed his dad around when he could, just for a minute of attention. That boy didn’t go away just because he grew up.

For them to not even have faith in their own son was startling; Eddie couldn’t imagine doing that to Christopher.

Not for the first time, a swash of guilt hurtled through him, knowing that he’d left Shannon to deal with all of that on her own, even though he knew how overbearing and distrusting his parents were. Even if they didn’t quite fight on that exact precipice, it’d hung between them, unspoken. 

“They’re your parents, Eddie, just call them,” Buck’s gentle voice came from behind him, startling him out of his thoughts.

“I still say we should wait.” He turned to look at his husband, reaching for him. “It’s just...look, I know they’re going to say something hurtful. I don’t want that to break our bubble. I don’t want it to ruin the bliss of having married you. I don’t know if I want to deal with that today.”

Buck hummed but stepped forward to entangle their fingers. “Yeah, maybe. But it’s not fair to you either, is it?”

Eddie frowned, tearing his gaze from their hands to look up at him. “What do you mean?”

“I mean...ever since we’ve woken up this morning, you’ve looked at your phone bare minimum 40 times an hour. It’s on your mind, and you’re not enjoying the ‘post-wedding bliss’ either,” he pointed out softly, eyes understanding and kind.

Eddie didn’t even know why he tried to hide things from Buck. The younger man had a keen sense of detail, especially when it came to him and Christopher. It was one of those things people put past him all the time, but Eddie never really took for granted. He couldn't, not when someone made so much effort to be there.

“Yeah, maybe” was all he managed to muster as he tried to sort through his cluttered thoughts. Perhaps they would actually be happy for them for once.

Buck only cupped his face so he couldn’t look away, thumb swiping in soothing lines. “Look, let’s just rip the bandage off. There’s nothing they can say that’s going to scare me off, if that’s what’s worrying you. I might get a little mad if they’re mean to you, but that’s about it. Then, we’ll have washed our hands of it all. But if you don’t want to, we don’t have to.”

Eddie’s heart clenched as he leaned against his husband - his protective, lovely husband that he couldn’t get enough of. Buck’s shoulders relaxed under his cheek, coming around to hold him tightly before gesturing to the phone.

As Buck turned to leave, Eddie grabbed his wrist, slowly shaking his head. He wanted his husband here with him. There was nothing to hide.

“I better tell them before one of my family members beats me to it, anyway.” Taking a deep breath, he pressed his mother’s number, swallowing around what felt like a bunch of rocks. With each ring, his heart pounded faster and faster. Buck said nothing, only holding tightly to his hand. Or maybe that was Eddie, he wasn’t sure.

“Eddie! Good morning!” his mother’s voice came over the phone, happy and jubilant. He predicted the next sentence before she even said it. “How’s Christopher?”

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “He’s doing great. Listen, Mom, is Dad with you?”

“Yeah, he is. Is something the matter?”

“No, nothing’s wrong, I just have to tell you two something,” Eddie said. The phone vibrated in his hand, and he pulled it away from his ear to find his mom wanting to FaceTime. Slightly panicked, Eddie just stared at the screen.

Relaying this news when he could actually _see_ them was going to be infinitely worse than any other conversation he’d had in his life.

Buck squeezed his hand, bringing him out of it. Releasing a breath, he answered the call, forcing a smile onto his face. His husband leaned away from the camera, motioning for Eddie to talk to them first.

The screen popped up with his parents’ smiling faces. “Hi, Dad, how’s it going?”

“Good, son. How are you and Christopher? Your mom says you have something to tell us.”

“We’re doing good. I do...it’s...well, it’s pretty big news. Great news, in fact,” Eddie laughed nervously, psyching himself up to just say it. “I got married yesterday.”

There was absolute silence. He watched his parents’ smiles slip away as they sat up a little straighter. Eddie recognized the familiar set of his father’s shoulders and the tightness around his mother’s mouth.

Sighing, he braced himself for the incoming argument, that tiny dwindle of hope snuffing out.

“We didn’t even know you were dating someone.”

“We’ve been together for a while, and this was the next step,” he said vaguely. Technically, it was true. Eddie could almost feel the metal of his phone give underneath his grip, that familiar trepidation stirring in his core.

“And you didn’t even think to let us know? Eddie, when will you stop making decisions about your life that affect Christopher? You have a _son_ to think about.”

Eddie saw red. 

Humiliation coursed through him, partially at Buck having to hear this and partially for how his parents insisted on being so _coddling_ . When in the past ten years had he done _anything_ without his son in mind?

Buck instantly picked up on it, loosening his grip to get up with a questioning face. Eddie shook his head and pulled him back down, lacing their fingers together. 

“Mom, he’s _my_ son. He’s at the forefront of every single decision I make. I married someone because I love him and this was what we _all_ wanted. I didn’t pick someone random off the street, for God’s sake. And Christopher knows and trusts him more than anyone else, _I_ trust him more than anyone else.”

Eddie realized what he’d done when his father’s face went blank. “Him?”

Well, there was no hiding that now. “Yeah. Him. Buck and I got married yesterday.”

“Who?”

“Evan Buckley, my partner.” Eddie knew that his parents knew who Buck was; they’d met at his probationary ceremony. His parents had been impressed by him and the ease with which Christopher took to him; clearly, that courtesy didn’t extend to him being Eddie’s husband.

For a second, Eddie just wanted to show that Buck was sitting right next to him, but he knew that his parents would immediately shift their demeanour and the inevitable argument would only simmer until it boiled over, worse than if he just got it over with now. 

His husband didn’t look to be in a rush to be introduced anyway, only tightening his grip on Eddie’s fingers. His usually-smiling mouth was flattened thin, eyebrows furrowed. Parents were a touchy topic for both of them, but more so for Buck, and Eddie began to worry that he’d trigger him.

“Eddie…” his mom began, dragging his attention back to her. She looked to be searching for words, a familiar insistence in her expression. “We told you not to drag Christopher down with you.”

Even nearly three and a half years from hearing it the first time, the words didn’t get any less hurtful. And she wasn’t done either.

“First, you weren’t even _there_ . You left your family for the army, _twice_ . Then you came back and Christopher _still_ didn’t know you - three jobs and not a minute to spare for him. Then you moved to LA, and because of your hours, you leave him in the hands of an aide. And now you’ve married someone out of the blue? He has no stability!”

“Mom,” he snapped, only barely managing to strangle this tone into something vaguely polite. “I’m well aware of what life I’ve lived. Yeah, enlisting wasn’t the best decision but it was the only one we could’ve taken because money was tight and we needed to pay for everything. And honestly, that’s between Shannon and I because _she_ was the one that had to deal with the fallout from my decisions. And you had no problem whatsoever when you were holding that medal - the medal I _hate_ with everything in me.”

“You are raising your son to see, to see all this…” his mother couldn’t even say the words but Eddie fell still, a chill slipping down his spine. “Families are made of a husband and a wife, Eddie, where...why…”

“I’m raising my son to see that families look different for everyone. I don’t want him to grow up with the typical husband and wife model. Christopher needs to know that Buck and I will support any decision he makes about his own sexuality, about his own life. He needs to know we’re going to be open and accepting of him,” Eddie bit back, fighting the surge of anger threatening him to take this argument and spin it out of control.

He’d never seen his parents as homophobic before. He’d never come out to them about his bisexuality, the opportunity not really presenting itself, but never in a million years would he have imagined his parents wanting to stick the heterosexual model in their minds.

But then he remembered his words at Abuela’s. 

_“I guess it had been kind of drilled in my head that I had to love a woman in the long term.”_

Maybe he’d always known. 

Suddenly, he felt wary down to his bones. “Look, Mom, Dad, can’t you just be happy for me, for once? Why does everything need to spiral into an argument about me not doing enough for my own son?”

“Eddie, your wife died not even two years ago,” his dad snarled, finally having enough of it. He couldn’t help it, but he flinched, the reminder _hurting_ deep. Buck’s fingers only tightened on his. “You’ve moved on and remarried without thinking about what your son will think when he sees someone replacing his mother.”

“Buck isn’t replacing Shannon, Dad. We talk about her in this house all the time, because neither of us wants Christopher to forget his mother,” he rubbed at his forehead, feeling the beginnings of a headache creep up on him. “In fact, he’s over the moon about this, because Buck’s been a part of our family ever since we moved here.”

“That doesn’t mean you forget your real family. You didn’t even think to _tell_ us, let alone inviting us,” his mom rebuked, her voice raising with each word. “Maybe it’s just time you come back to El Paso.”

_Not a chance in hell._

Eddie was about to answer when he heard the familiar clacking of crutches and his son’s call for them. He looked up in alarm, not wanting Chris to find him in another argument.

“I’ve got him,” Buck mouthed before darting to the door.

Without Buck by his side, Eddie felt half his strength deplete, which really was ridiculous; he was 33 fucking years old and they were just his parents. Sucking it up, he stared down at his phone, already on the edge of defeat.

“Just...look, we didn’t invite anyone to the wedding at all. It was just Christopher, Buck and I in a court. And it was much better that way.”

“You got married in a _courthouse_? Do Mama and Josephine know?”

“Yes, and they’re _happy_ for us.” At least they had that. Abuela and Pepa were always in their corner, and would probably rip Eddie’s father a new one just at this conversation. Sophia was already supportive and Eddie knew Adriana would be, too. “Just as I’d wished for you to be. But if you’re not, then I can’t do anything about it. Buck is my family, and he’s Christopher’s family; nothing you two say is going to change that. We’re not going to come back to El Paso. And this whole thing about you two not trusting me to raise my son isn’t going to fly, ever. He is _not_ your missed opportunity.”

His words were simple - not yelled, not screamed but laid the facts out straight. For once, his parents were immediately silenced.

“Can we see Buck?”

He didn’t expect that, but he couldn’t help but feel protective of his husband. “Are you going to go off on him, too?”

“We’re not your enemies, Eddie. We’re just trying to look out for you and Christopher,” Dad said, sighing in a way that made him feel two years old. “If you feel this man helps, there is nothing we can do about it.”

_It’s none of your business, anyway._

Wisely, he didn’t reply to that, knowing that would spiral into an argument even worse than the last one. He walked outside where he could hear Chris laughing in the kitchen with someone who sounded suspiciously like Pepa. 

Eddie found Buck standing in the living room.

“They want to talk to you,” he said, holding the phone out to Buck, who was staring at the pictures on the fireplace mantle, looking like he didn’t really know what to do with himself.

Buck’s eyes widened as he nervously patted down his hair and clothes, gingerly taking the phone from Eddie and grabbing his hand in the process.

“Hi, Mr and Mrs. Diaz,” he greeted. Eddie studied him as he talked, vaguely hearing his parents telling him to call them Ramon and Helena.

Eddie kept one ear on the conversation, but most of his attention was captured by the man in front of him. Buck was a lot of things when it came to his emotions; he was open, nurturing, kind. He let everyone see his heart, no matter what people could do with it, and Eddie admired him so much for it. 

At the same token, Eddie knew him better than that. He knew that the easy smile on his husband’s face wasn’t real. He could read the nerves in the set of his shoulders, the cadence of his voice wasn’t of its regular vibrancy and his free hand was clenching periodically in Eddie’s as he talked and laughed. 

But most of all, Eddie knew that even with the heart-on-his-sleeve personality Buck had, the man was also a skilled hider. He had the ability to only let people see what he wanted them to. It was a part of his best friend Eddie didn’t learn about until much later, to the point where he was almost _too_ late.

He snapped back to the present with the sound of Buck saying his name repeatedly. He was holding the phone out.

Eddie smiled sheepishly and took it.

“Is Christopher there?” Clearly, they were done talking to him, but they looked slightly mollified by whatever Buck had said to them, so Eddie let it slide.

Wordlessly, he nodded his head and retreated to the kitchen, Buck following him in. Christopher seemed happy enough to be talking to them, so he let him handle them while he turned to Pepa, leaning forward to kiss her cheek.

“Thanks for bringing him back,” he said, looking over to where Christopher was chattering away happily about the things they did at the sleepover yesterday. His parents were responding in kind, thankfully none of the remnants of their fight in their voices. “How’d the sleepover go?”

“It took a while for all that sugar to wear off, but they had a lot of fun last night. Christopher told them all about his Buck,” Pepa replied, patting Buck on the shoulder where he was now absently cutting fruit. He smiled widely at her, but Eddie got stuck on her words as his head spun to face his son.

He hadn’t even realized that Christopher could potentially tell them about the last-minute wedding thing, with how he’d been excited enough to tell everyone last night. 

Blessedly, the conversation stayed far away from anything about weddings before Chris could say anything about it, and Eddie sent up a little prayer of thanks for it.

Small miracles.

Pepa stayed silent until the phone was hung up and Christopher had dragged Buck out to show him what Abuela got him for Christmas.

“Are they troubling you?” she asked. He could feel her studying him, and instead of throwing up a front like he normally did, he just turned to her.

“Same old argument. Not doing enough for Christopher, bringing another parent into his life, ruining his life, marrying a man, coming back to El Paso,” he listed, ticking each one off a mental checklist. “I didn’t even tell them about the eloping thing, or that’d be another addition to the list. It’s the same story every single time we talk. I don’t even know why even three years later, they still don’t realize that I’m perfectly capable of taking care of my son.”

“Hmm. Yes, Helena is stubborn like that, and your father is even more so. But that does not mean you do not have any family on your side,” she reassured him. Eddie managed to smile at her.

“Yeah, I know. There are just some things Mom and Dad don’t understand, but I can’t explain it to them if they won’t even listen to me,” he shrugged, slipping a piece of watermelon into his mouth. “They did the same thing before I made the decision to come here. Told me not to drag my son down with me and said the exact same thing today.”

Pepa clicked his tongue “You didn’t drag him or yourself down anywhere; you only made the best decision you could. You are a wonderful father, and so is your Buck.”

Eddie smiled at the reminder of his husband, looking out to where he could hear their laughter from the living room. “Buck has been co-parenting Christopher with me for the better part of the past three years, and even more so in the past one year. He would’ve been one of Christopher’s parents whether we got married or not. There’s absolutely no doubt in my mind about it.”

“But there is when it comes to yourself.”

He couldn’t bring himself to refute it. 

Pepa sighed, turning him all the way around to face her. Her expression was earnest. “Eddie, you are everything to your son. Christopher loves you so much for how much you try, and he’s the happiest kid I have ever seen. He wouldn’t be if you were a bad father. You are doing a great job with him, but most importantly, you teach him that he can come to you. That is very important for parents to do - something Ramon didn’t do with you three.

“Don’t let your parents’ words get to you so much. You are happy, and your family is complete. Be thankful for that. The rest will fall into place in its own time.”

“I will,” he agreed, feeling a little choked up by Pepa’s unwavering faith in him. He did have a lot to be thankful for, his aunt and grandmother being two of those things, but mostly for being blessed with the best kid ever, and the best partner, too.

Still, despite his assurances to her, Mom and Dad’s words _did_ hurt. Three years wasn’t enough to prove that he wasn’t going to run off and screw up Christopher’s life. Contrary to their belief, Eddie was home as often as he could be - far more than he had been after being discharged from the army.

It wasn’t until after Pepa left that Eddie let himself think over it, going back to their room so he didn’t tip Christopher off.

He hadn’t moved on from Shannon too quickly, had he? They’d been moving past each other long before Eddie had even come to LA but that didn’t mean he didn’t love her. It didn’t mean that just because she was dead, he’d _stopped_ loving her. No matter how many years passed, part of his heart would always belong to Shannon, for more than just giving him Christopher.

And he hadn’t messed up with Christopher after moving. If anything, hearing the suffocating coddling from his parents only cemented his belief that moving far away from El Paso was the right decision. Christopher was happy; Eddie _knew_ he was happy. His kid was thriving in school, practically bounced off the walls to see him and loved him with no bounds.

But the terrified man from when his son was barely an idea on a pregnancy stick didn’t believe it. Neither did the man standing on a tarmac, leaving his pregnant wife. Neither did the man who re-enlisted so he wouldn’t have to face the reality. And neither did the man who woke up one day to his wife gone, resigned to the prospect of doing it all alone. 

With a few choice words, his parents had brought all these reiterations of himself forward to the point where he couldn’t see the man he’d now become, the man who _was_ enough for his son - and for his partner.

Eddie could feel his defeat swamping over him at just how far his parents’ words had burrowed in his mind - every single insecurity he had, basically laid out bare. He felt naked, even for being the only one in the room.

Slumping down onto the bed, Eddie just stared at his newly enacted ring, so different from what he was used to. The weight of it on his hand was grounding, yet another one of those constant reminders that he was enough. They hadn’t been married long enough for Eddie to work past if he’d be a good husband or not, but he was determined not to screw this up. He was more secure about _everything_ when it came to Buck, because at the end of the day, they were best friends. Partners.

And when his partner’s arms came around him, Eddie didn’t say anything. He only turned in his husband’s grasp and buried his face in his neck, wanting to hide away from the world for just a little bit.

Buck, to his credit, didn’t say anything, either; he simply held him, whispering words Eddie wasn’t hearing over the roar in his ears.

Pressure burned hot behind his eyes as his parents’ words played over in his mind like a torture loop, each word specifically meant to hurt him. He was well aware of his ragged breathing, trembling body and of Buck smoothing a hand up and down his spine, but he couldn’t _cry_ for whatever reason. His chest felt tight and his throat far too constricted, but the tears wouldn't come.

He just wanted all the hurt to go away.

“Eddie, sweetheart. Can you look at me?” 

Eddie shook his head, holding Buck closer as the first tear slipped down his cheek to dampen his husband’s skin.

That did it. The unwavering care in Buck’s voice did him in, and suddenly he was trembling with the force to keep his cries quiet, but he let himself lean on his partner, breaking to pieces. For the first time in nearly fifteen years, Eddie let himself cry for how much his parents’ constant disapproval and disappointment slashed across his heart.

Buck held him through it all, moving a hand to card into his hair, scratching lightly. Eddie balled his hands up in his husband’s T-shirt, clinging tightly as his cries tapered down to brief sniffles and rasping breaths. 

“Maybe I can talk to them? See if I can do something about this?”

Eddie shook his head, still buried in Buck’s neck. “They do this for every decision I make. It’s never going to change, no matter who talks to them.”

The thought made him tear up a little more, emotionally raw and strung out.

When he calmed down a little, Buck began to speak again. “Eddie, if my dad was even one-percent of the dad you are, I guarantee you that Maddie and I probably would’ve grown up a lot happier than we did.

“This isn’t about me and my parental issues, that’s not why I’m telling you this. I’m telling you so you understand that Christopher isn’t the happiest kid in the world for no reason. He’s so proud to have you as his dad because you’re his hero. And no one outside of your kid can tell you if you’re being a good parent or not. You continuously make an effort to unlearn all the toxic behaviour so you can be a role model to him; to me, that’s the sign of a great parent.”

“Then why aren’t they ever satisfied?” he whispered into Buck’s shoulder.

“Does it matter if they are or not? You once told me that they weren’t satisfied with you enlisting until you got that medal. Does that mean that what you did, the lives you saved, the people you protected meant any less?”

It was true; when he’d come back from his first tour, his parents had been awkward about it then too, focusing all their attention on a baby Christopher while Eddie and Shannon tried to fall back into a routine with one another. 

The second tour had been different, but only because they'd sent him back with a medal. There were balloons and dinner invites and parties all around, and even if his parents were now proud of the military stint, they still didn’t think he was capable of being a father. 

Sure, he wasn’t completely proud of the real reasons he’d enlisted, though the money thing _had_ been one of the biggest factors. He wasn’t proud that he hadn’t talked to his wife about it, and he wasn’t proud that he’d let his home problems chase him off to a desert in Afghanistan.

But he’d come back, tried to do better while still trying to be a civilian again. It’d felt like Afghanistan was looming over him whenever he’d peer into dark corners, or be surrounded by too many people all at once, but he’d _tried_.

And Eddie saw Buck’s point; his parents had a rebuttal ready for every single aspect of his life. It didn’t really matter how far he got in his life; for them, it would never be enough. There was virtually nothing he could say or do that was going to change their mind about Christopher being better off living with them.

And so, he didn’t want to let them get to him.

“No,” he answered. “No, it doesn’t mean any less.”

“You’re a great father, and I don’t want you to believe it because _I’m_ telling you, but because everything about Christopher proves it.”

Eddie pulled back to look at Buck, absolutely sure he looked horrendous with a runny nose and leaking eyes and bright red cheeks like he always got when he cried. Buck was looking at him with wonder and awe and faith and pride - all these things he’d never really seen before.

And then his husband continued. “You’re also going to be a wonderful husband, because you’re the best partner anyone could ask for. I don’t have any doubt about it”

“Are you mad I didn’t tell them about the eloping thing?”

Buck snorted. “Nope. I’m probably not going to tell my parents about that, either. I’m going to stick to the same thing you said. Maddie will probably get the truth because obviously we can’t hide that from her. But whenever I call my parents, it’s gonna be a cursory touch-and-go.”

It was clear that he had no intention of doing it any time soon, so Eddie didn’t push.

"Do you really hate the Silver Star?"

Now wasn't that the million dollar question? 

Eddie rubbed a hand over his face, exhausted from the morning. "It's not the medal I hate as much as what it stands for, if that makes sense. Because...I was just doing my job. It wasn't just me who helped in pulling Greggs free and bringing him home, and honestly, seeing that tiny piece of medal reminds me of all the horrors we saw that day.

He leaned over to pick up his wallet, flipping it open to show Buck a picture of a four-year-old Chris. There were dried blood stains on the photo, and the wrinkles had been flattened from all those years in his wallet. "This photo of him, I held onto it like a lifeline, until rescue came. I'd gotten shot in the wrist, which is where that blood came from. But this...this was my saving grace in those dunes. I didn't think I was going to come home alive."

Buck held the wallet gingerly, his eyes softening as he looked at a younger Christopher, still smiling widely. "He was adorable."

Eddie absently made a note to himself to pull out the childhood albums at some point, but for now, he tilted his head down on Buck's shoulder, temples pounding. His husband reached forward to brush light fingers along the round scar on the back of his wrist, before lifting his hand to press a kiss to it.

"I'm proud of you," he said quietly. "I just want you to know that."

Eddie smiled before straightening up. "You always seem to know what to say to make me feel better,” he pointed out softly. 

The solemn mood broke as Buck chuckled, wrapping an arm around his shoulders to bring him close. “Well...I found in three years of partnership that words tend to make you feel better, especially when things are laid out explicitly so you can pay attention to them.”

Eddie laughed, reaching forth to tangle his fingers with Buck’s. “Sometimes, but you always relax after a touch. Touch makes you feel better more than words do.”

“Yours, definitely,” Buck laughed, leaning forward to kiss him. “Held onto me while I talked to your parents, and I’m very grateful. They scare me, by the way.”

Eddie barked out a laugh, nodding as he wiped at his sodden face. “They scare me, too. Will I have to talk to yours?”

“No.” The answer was so immediate that it sent Eddie reeling a little. Buck winced at him but smiled sheepishly. “Sorry. I meant...see, when I say my parents don’t care about my life, they _really_ don’t. They’ll probably be like ‘oh, okay, another headlong decision’ and hang up.”

Buck only shrugged, looking away as if it didn’t affect him, but Eddie knew it did. And he also knew Buck was watering their reaction down. He leaned forward to cup the back of his partner’s neck. “Hey, you don’t want me to, I won’t. But personally, I think we’re pretty set on parental figures. We’ve got this.”

“Together,” Buck agreed. Eddie smiled and kissed him, the murmur of his parents’ words fading away with this resolution. “I’m not leaving, Eddie. No matter what.”

“Neither am I. You and I, this is a done deal. You’re not getting rid of us any time soon,” he teased.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” Buck whispered against his lips. Eddie let out a sigh of contentment as he looped an arm behind Buck’s neck, holding him close.

“Daddy!” Christopher called as his footsteps sounded down the hall. They separated just in time for Chris to round the corner, immediately crawling onto the bed between him and Buck.

As his son blabbered on about everything he did last night a third time, leaning into his side with the biggest grin on his face, Eddie dismissed the last of his self-doubts. His kid loved and trusted him, and his parents weren’t about to take that from him.

Eddie pulled his family close, kissing the top of Christopher’s head and setting a hand on Buck’s shoulder.

He had everything he needed right here.

* * *

“Have you told Mom and Dad yet?” was the first thing out of Maddie’s mouth when Buck slid into the seat in front of her a week after New Year’s Day.

“Good morning to you, too,” he grumbled, flipping through the menu in front of him. “Too early to talk about them without coffee.”

It was only after thirty questions about Maddie and Chim, a couple of unsuccessful conversation diversions and a combo plate of pancakes, eggs and potatoes with a side of black coffee that Buck allowed himself to answer the question. “Nope, I haven’t told them yet.”

“What are you waiting for?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “After Eddie told his parents, it got a little messy. I don’t want Mom and Dad to add to that, because they’re just going to make life worse like they always do. Let me be with my husband in peace.”

Maddie laughed. “You’re marked up to high heaven, little brother. I think you’ve had all the peace in the world.”

He flushed, tugging the collar of his shirt upwards and scowling at his sister. Buck knew Eddie didn’t leave marks where they could be seen (neither did he), but somehow, Maddie had seen right through him.

Maddie, who was looking far too smug. Buck only narrowed his eyes at her, before rolling them and sulking in his seat.

He stared at his ring from where it was wrapped around his mug. Two weeks weren’t enough to ebb the feeling of warmth that spread through him just at the sight of it. 

“I think...see, I know Eddie’s not regretting this, and I _definitely_ am not regretting it. It just feels like if I go and tell Mom and Dad, we’re just going to be inviting more trouble.”

“What did Eddie’s parents say?”

“It’s a different form of the same argument, this time because of the wedding. Eddie not making the right decisions for Christopher.” Buck leaned forward in his chair. “Maddie, I just don’t get it. Eddie is literally one of the best fathers I've ever seen. He does everything in his power for his son, and his parents just go out and accuse him of not doing enough. Can you imagine if Dad did even a fraction of all that? How different our lives would’ve been?”

Buck’s heart had broken at Eddie’s rough sobs the other night, and he had been so mad at Helena and Ramon for making his husband feel that way. It had taken everything in his power to remain polite when he’d talked to them.

“Well, him being a really great dad is what attracted you to him in the first place.”

Buck hummed in response, not taking the bait. Maddie only sighed, reaching forward to take his hand. “Look, I don’t know Eddie’s parents so I’m not going to say anything on that front, but if Christopher knows that Eddie does everything he can for him, then that should be the end of it. Because at the end of the day, everyone sees that Chris is the sweetest, most joyful kid and it isn’t out of nowhere. He really is a great father.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, not really wanting to bare all of Eddie’s insecurities about it to his sister.

“As for our parents, I wish I could tell you how they’re going to react, but I really don’t know. Buck, honestly, even if you just don’t tell them, you’re not really losing anything.”

Maddie had been gone before their parents’ distancing really took root - almost as if her marriage broke the cord tying them and Buck together. She hadn’t been privy to how lonely he’d been after she left, hadn’t been privy to their parents wiping his hands of him. 

So she didn't know how they'd react, but he sure did.

He’d run from home for that very reason. No one was looking out for him anyway, and he needed to find himself before he lost himself in the realization of not being enough for people to stay.

“You’re the one that keeps asking me if I’ve told them or not.”

Maddie snorted, shoveling a piece of waffle in her mouth. “They actually talk to you more than me, and considering they only talk to you maybe once or twice every three months, that’s saying something.”

Buck couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s actually been longer than that, I think. I don’t think I’m forgiven for running off to South America.”

“Can’t blame you, honestly,” she quipped before a serious expression blanketed her amused one. “Look, Eddie and Christopher are going to be in your life forever, and we both know that. By not telling them, you’re only putting off the inevitable because they’re bound to figure it out at some point. And whatever they say, it’s not going to matter. Eddie is great for you, Evan. And I’m so proud of you for making the right decision for your life partner.”

“You were skeptical about Eddie, too, at first,” Buck pointed out, remembering the phone call.

His sister shook her head. “No, it wasn’t about Eddie. Or you, for that matter. I just...I jumped without thinking into Doug, and it ruined the institution of marriage for me. When I heard you’d made a quick decision too, I just…”

“You were brought back to that,” Buck finished, a little emotional at how much Maddie looked out for him. He’d understood her marriage issues, albeit with a little prodding from Eddie, and had long since let go of her initial reaction, but he just had to make sure. She was the only person from his blood family that mattered.

“I love Eddie, and I love Christopher. Seeing you settle down with them makes me so happy, and I will always be on your side, even if our parents won’t be,” she said. Buck felt a wash of gratefulness that his sister was back in his life, eyes tearing up a bit.

“I’m not about to tell them that we eloped.”

“I won’t, either,” Maddie promised, before shifting the topic. “Even though I'm still mad about it. Now tell me everything about the wedding, again.”

* * *

Buck thought about Maddie’s words as he drove back home, as they sat down to tidy Christopher’s room, as they cleaned up the rest of the decorations from the holiday, all up through dinner. 

He was thoroughly distracted with the prospect, enough that even Christopher picked up on it. It took the kid having to call him multiple times to gain his attention, which in itself (seeing that Christopher usually had his undivided attention) was startling. He could feel Eddie’s eyes on him all day, soft and worried, but Buck couldn’t bring himself to reassure him. Not when Maddie had tied him up in a thousand knots with one conversation.

“What’s going on?” Eddie’s concerned voice came from behind him as he loaded up the dishwasher, Christopher having wandered out to spend his hour before bedtime coloring. “You’ve been out of it all day.”

“Just thinking about something Maddie said this morning,” he replied, sticking a plate into the bottom rack. “She thinks I should tell Mom and Dad about us.”

Eddie hummed thoughtfully as he brought the used dishes in from the dining table. “What do _you_ think?”

“Maddie said it would only be putting off the inevitable, because you guys are a part of my life no matter what. Even before you stuck this on my finger,” he said, holding up his left hand and pointing at the ring.

“I mean, I’m not the only one who put a ring on it." Eddie looked amused at the quirk but his eyes were serious. "But I want to know if telling your parents is something _you_ want to do or not.”

“I think she’s right. Now that it’s in my mind, it’s just not going to leave,” he said slowly, reorganizing his thoughts as he spoke. “And honestly, are they really worth all this overthinking? When they haven’t spared any thoughts for us over the years?”

“Then we do it. They should be awake right now, right?” His husband cast a look at the clock blinking 7:30, probably calculating the time difference. That would mean 10:30 in Pennsylvania.

The fact that Eddie remembered that little detail made this whole ordeal so much more bearable.

“Yeah, and if we get lucky, they’ll want to go to sleep before they rip me a new one.”

Eddie stayed silent at that, only offering his hand to tug him to their bedroom after a cursory check-in on Christopher.

“I’m going to pace,” Buck told him. “I won’t be able to sit still.”

“That’s okay. Do you want me in the room with you?”

“Yes!” he said quickly. "Please." There was no way he could do this without Eddie to remind him that he wasn’t actually the disappointment his parents sometimes liked to think he was. Eddie chuckled and sat down on the bed, in the exact same place they’d told his parents two weeks ago.

Buck looked over the familiar features of his husband, phone tight in his grasp. The angles of his face, the sharp dips and divots of muscle that had Buck’s fingerprints all over them, the warm skin that fell pliant under a light touch. There was an encouraging curve to his lips now, and his warm eyes were expectant.

“I’m here, Buck. I’m not going anywhere,” Eddie said softly.

“Yeah. Yeah, you aren’t,” Buck repeated the words in his mind before dialing his dad’s number. Almost immediately, the pulsing anxiety sent him wearing down a path on the bedroom floor.

It rang a sum total of twice before his father picked up.

“Evan.”

“Hi, Dad.” Buck could hear the stiffness in his own voice, and he knew Eddie would pick up on it, too.

“How are you?”

“Uh...it’s been good. Really good. Um, happy belated new year to you guys.”

“Thank you, and to you, too.” A pause, and then “was there something you needed?”

God forbid Buck need _them_ for once.

He shook the thought off. He had everything he needed under this very roof.

“No. I just wanted to relay some news to you all. I…” he stared down at his ring as he walked and blurted the words out. “I got married.”

There was the sound of clothes rustling and his father’s sharp tone relaying the words to his mother.

“What, did you get someone pregnant?”

“Dad, seriously?” The words brought him to a complete halt, fury swirling up in him. He actually couldn’t believe the fucking _nerve._ Right now, he couldn’t even muster the courage to look at his husband who was definitely hearing this in the stillness of the room. His skin burned with the shame of it. 

“Evan, sweetie. We just want to know what prompted you to get married so fast,” his mom asked.

“Hi, Mom. And it wasn’t so fast. There wasn’t any do-or-die situation, and I didn’t knock someone up. I married the man I love, plain and simple,” he asserted, resuming pacing around the room. Eddie’s gaze tracked him, worried and wrathful. His protectiveness took the edge of Buck’s anxiety but if this call didn’t end in the next three minutes, he was going to vibrate out of his skin.

“A man?”

“Yes.” That was all Buck was willing to offer on the subject, voice hard and unyielding. And from the way Eddie’s eyebrows shot up and a hint of pride crept into his expression, he was impressed, too.

If he didn't have Eddie here, he'd probably shatter to pieces.

“Are you happy?”

That was a question he wasn’t expecting from his mother, even with the scoff from his father in the back. In all these years, not once had she asked him that. But his mother was always the more patient one, even as she’d kept them at arm’s length away, hiding in her husband’s shadow.

That didn’t make them good parents though, and three little words weren’t going to erase 29 years of neglect.

“Yeah. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.”

“When did you get married?”

“On Christmas.”

There was another stretched silence before his dad spoke, voice heated. “So you’re telling us after two weeks, then. Why even bother?”

In retrospect, this was probably the worst idea with how keyed up he already was, but Buck _lost_ it. 

He only remembered at the last minute to keep his voice low for Christopher, but he was _seething,_ words biting in a way they hadn’t in the past ten years. “You know what, Dad? Fuck you. I wasn’t about to tell you before the people that mean the most to me, because I knew that this would mean nothing to you. But it’s a pretty big deal to me! I called you out of some fucked-up obligation that I felt I had as a son to you for keeping a roof over my head, but I’m so done now. I refuse to let you ruin this for me.”

“You’ll ruin it yourself, Evan!” Buck recoiled as if the words had been spat in his face. “You always jump straight into things without thinking it through, just like when you went to South America, and just like when you applied to the fire department. You never fucking _think_ about anything.”

Buck whooshed out a breath, gritting his teeth together. He shook his head as Eddie made a move to get up, expression thunderous. “You know that’s not true. Actually, you know what? I don’t care if you think that’s true or not, because _I_ know it isn’t. There isn’t anything about Eddie or Christopher that I’ve done without thinking through, and as for being a firefighter? I wanted to _help_ people, not show up in some asshole’s office and drone on about policies that ruin people’s lives.”

“Evan…”

“No, Mom. You two need to get the hell over yourselves, because I’m done with all of this bullshit. I have the family I need right here with me, and you two were _always_ looking for reasons to let go of us. And now you have.”

“Wait, Evan, who are Eddie and Christopher?” his mom pleaded. Buck sighed, rubbing his forehead and cursing himself for caving just because he had a tiny soft-spot for her. His mother had also been oppressed under his father's control, not that it excused her indifference towards them.

“Eddie is my husband and Christopher is…” He looked back at Eddie, who simply gestured between them in answer. “Christopher is our son.”

The disapproval practically wafted through the speaker, until Buck felt like he’d choke on it.

“Congratulations, then. Thanks for letting us know.” With that, his father hung up, whatever his mother had been saying cut off. 

Buck stood frozen with his phone pressed to his ear as the line went silent. Slowly pulling it down, he just stared at the blank screen.

It shouldn’t hurt this much - not when he’d been expecting it all the way. There hadn’t been a single part of him that was delusional about his parents being happy for him for once. So why was his heart breaking?

“Buck? Can I touch you?” Eddie’s voice came from behind him, drawing him out of his head. He was standing now, arms halfway open as if he didn’t really know quite what to do.

Buck stepped into them and collapsed into his chest, trying to make himself as small as possible. He started shuddering as the dizzying fury bled away from his system, leaving him jittery and lost. Eddie wrapped his arms around him immediately, murmuring soothing words as they sank back down on the bed.

“I’m sorry.” Buck’s voice broke as he squeezed his eyes shut, listening to the steady thump of Eddie’s heart as tears slipped down his cheeks.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, my love. I’m sorry they were so offhand and rude.”

He sniffled into Eddie’s chest, voice coming out hoarse as he spoke. “They...he thought I knocked someone up. As if the only reason someone would ever marry me was because of some weird emergency situation.”

Buck felt his husband shake his head from where his chin rested on top of his head. “Well they’re wrong. I married you because I love everything about you, because you are, in every sense of the word, the best partner I could have. And anyone would be lucky to have you, but I’m glad it’s me you chose.”

He kept his eyes closed, but circled his arms around Eddie to burrow himself into his grip, much like Eddie had done two weeks ago. Here, in Eddie’s arms, he could sink without drowning, without the fear of never surfacing again. He was safe.

"I'm glad it's you," he murmured.

The two remained silent after that, stuck in their own pensive thoughts.

“When Maddie brought Doug home, my parents instantly disliked him,” Buck began. “I hated him on sight for just how controlling he seemed, how my sister wasn’t my sister anymore. Maddie had changed volumes since she’d left for college, and it was almost like seeing a new person.

“But they still were proud of her marriage. They were excited for it, and both of them had gone all out for her wedding.” Eddie listened quietly, rubbing small circles into Buck’s shoulders. The gradual movement kneaded some of his apprehension out, and he continued. “For a minute, I was so jealous.”

“Of what?”

“That they didn’t even care about my wedding. Like, I know we didn’t invite anyone or anything, and I didn’t even expect anything from them, but a horrible part of me is so jealous that Maddie used to get their attention and I’d have to fight for it. That she got so much for marrying that asshole but I...I didn’t get anything but disappointment.”

Eddie tilted his head up to look him in the eye. “You’re not a horrible person for thinking that. Your parents shouldn’t have made you feel like that. And it’s fucked up that they think they can do that.”

Buck moved both of them so they were laying horizontal, curling into Eddie’s chest as if the older man could protect him from the words. He counted each heartbeat pounding under his ear in a bid to rid himself of the lingering anger and anxiety.

“I don’t think you could ever ruin anything,” Eddie said quietly. Another flush of shame bracketed down his spine at the memory of those words. “And I know this isn’t something you need to hear from me, but I don’t think you jump headlong into things.”

“I try so hard not to. Because...before you, at the end of the day, I only had myself. If anything happened, I’d have to pick up the pieces alone, so it was just easier not to let them fall apart in the first place. Notwithstanding my recklessness on calls, but with life decisions? I’ve never been able to do it, even if it seems like that.”

Eddie held him tighter, pressing kisses against his forehead and temple that went a long way in making him feel better.

_“Christopher is our son.”_

Buck lifted his head to look Eddie in the eye. “You let me call him our son.”

“We filed adoption papers, he’s _already_ your son,” he pointed out. Buck smiled faintly at the reminder but searched for the right words to explain what he was thinking. 

He knew it in his heart that Christopher was his, but his mind hadn’t quite caught up with the fact. “I still think it’s all surreal, sometimes. Like...almost as if I can’t wrap my head around everything, with how easy everything was. Marriage, adoption, name-change...we made so many huge decisions over four days and I guess I still can’t stop waiting for other shoe to drop.”

“I think that’s the price we paid when we chose to elope, that too without dating,” Eddie said, tugging Buck upwards to kiss him. “The decisions we made are all somehow linked, but it’s definitely overwhelming. It’s going to be an adjustment for everyone, no matter how long we’ve been doing this unofficially. But...let yourself live in this moment, okay? Chris and I aren’t going anywhere, and we know you aren’t either. Everything else will come at its own pace.”

“I love you,” Buck whispered, cherishing the wide grin splitting Eddie’s face as he returned the sentiment. 

“You know what, I think I have the perfect solution to make you feel better.” His husband perked up, dislodging himself much to Buck’s protests. Eddie shushed him with one searing kiss, grinning cheekily. “I’ll be right back.”

The smile faded from his face as soon as Eddie disappeared. Rolling over, he sent Maddie a quick text that he’d told them and that he would tell her about it when he next saw her.

She replied almost instantly, citing that she was proud of him. Somehow, Buck got the impression that she already knew what had gone down.

The echo of his father’s harsh words began to fade just with that. He had Maddie, he didn’t need another relative.

“Buck!” Christopher’s voice immediately brightened his dark spirits, and Buck began to see what Eddie was talking about. The kid gave him a toothy grin, complete with pearly whites and shark-printed pajamas. “Daddy says I can sleep here tonight.”

“Just for tonight,” his husband said, lifting Christopher to put him in Buck’s arms. Buck curled around _their_ son, laughing when Christopher wiggled to get in a comfortable position. 

It turned out this position was with his face buried in Buck’s chest, one tiny arm thrown around his waist. Weirdly enough, Buck felt like Christopher was protecting him, a lump curling in his throat. Eddie, looking soft and fond, leaned down to press a fast kiss to both of their foreheads before coming around to crawl into bed behind Buck.

“I love you, okay? And I know we don’t have the best track record when it comes to our parents, but we have each other, and we have the family we chose,” Eddie whispered, shifting so he was spooning both of them. “Together, right?”

“Together,” Buck agreed again, turning his head as much as he could to kiss his husband. “I love you, too.”

Sandwiched between the two most important people in his life, Buck’s mind was blissfully silent. His parents’ words vanished as Eddie pressed a kiss behind his ear, a weight lifting off his mind with Christopher in his arms and he in Eddie’s. 

As long as they were together, nothing could tear them apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on Tumblr at [zeethebooknerd](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/zeethebooknerd) or on Twitter at [tkreyesevandiaz](https://twitter.com/tkreyesevandiaz). You can also buy me a coffee at my [Ko-Fi!](https://ko-fi.com/tkreyesevandiaz)

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on Tumblr at [zeethebooknerd](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/zeethebooknerd) or on Twitter at [tkreyesevandiaz](https://twitter.com/tkreyesevandiaz).


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